We Found Proof One Of The ‘Bachelor’ Contestants Is Only There For Fame | Betches

During a deep dive into the new Bachelor contestants, most of whom have deactivated their social media accounts/online presence in general, one white-toothed, fake-lashed, soon-to-be fit tea dealer stood high above the rest, and proved my theory that the first generation of people who spent their lives aspiring to be on The Bachelor have arrived. Enter: Mykenna Dorn, from Langely, British Columbia. At a mere 22 years old, Mykenna has, in theory, been watching The Bachelor franchise since she only five years old, and very clearly has been hoping for a long time to be a member of Bachelor Nation. A simple Google search of her first name and hometown brought me to a lackluster LinkedIn profile with no photos, no …

Chill Like The Weather: Weekend Horoscopes September 6-8 | Betches

As Hurricane Dorian bashes the southeast (and my in-laws —hope y’all got enough water, fam), I’m wondering if our horoscopes foretold nature’s fury. I guess we can interpret things pretty much however we want though, right? Totes. That was deep! Anyway, it’s still Virgo season, and it’s almost time for us to hide our tired summer bods under adorable scarves and sweaters, so get ready. Libra Get your OM on, Libra. Start the weekend off with some guided meditation, or just some goddamn peace and quiet, and a good cup of coffee. Jupiter is pushing you to communicate, so a brunch out with friends that are good listeners could be super beneficial. Sagittarius Sweatpants on repeat, Sagittarius. You’ve had kind …

Does Anyone Actually Have Sex On Their Wedding Night? | Betches

We’ve all seen the stereotypical depiction of wedding night sex on TV and in the movies—the groom carries his bride across the threshold into a hotel room that looks like Valentine’s Day threw up, and the couple proceeds to have a panel of experts my married friends to find out. Although wedding night sex sounds great in theory, the majority of couples don’t do the deed on their wedding night: one survey found that 48% of couples actually had sex on the night of their wedding, and in my own informal survey of my married friends, only one-third reported having wedding night sex. This isn’t very surprising when you consider the wedding day in its entirety. In most cases, you’re …

The Best Bachelor in Paradise Recap Youll Ever Read: Tahzjuan Is My Spirit Animal | Betches

Look, I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again but I AM IN YOUR DMS HELLO good guys never finish first with this godforsaken franchise. You hate to see it. Meanwhile, Kristina and Tayshia discuss their relationship statuses. They both aren’t that into their romantic prospects thus far: Tayshia with JPJ and Kristina with that sand dune. Kristina declares that Tayshia should just date Derek because, let’s face it, JPJ has that hair so he’ll be fine. Tayshia agrees so fast that it’s almost as if this storyline was preordained by production or something. It’s crazy! Okay, I don’t think we’ve been giving Tayshia enough credit for how manipulative she can be. She tells JPJ that she wants to see …

Back To School Vibes: Weekly Horoscopes August 26-30 | Betches

No matter how long it’s been since you’ve had an actual back to school, the back to school energy is in the air, and it’s time to get your sh*t together. Is it any wonder that this very special time of year falls directly in the middle of Virgo season? The stars work in mysterious ways… Here’s what you need to know this week so you can get things on track, whether it’s in the classroom, the boardroom, or the bedroom. Last week’s Virgo wellness energy is continuing into this week as you stay focused on health and self-care. I’m talkin’ green smoothies. I’m talkin’ superfoods. I’m talkin’ HIIT classes that make you feel like you want to vomit, or …

Get Your Sh*t Together – It’s Virgo Season: Weekly Horoscopes August 19-23 Betches

Welcome to Virgo season—do you have your day planner ready? Virgo is a sign that is known for very much having its sh*t together, meaning this month is the perfect time to clean up the (literal) hot mess that has been your summer. Harness some of that old back-to-school energy and get your life in order for fall. And yes, buying a new fall wardrobe totally counts as “harnessing back-to-school energy.” Your bank account might hate you, but whatever. You’re welcome. You’re finally ready to get back on the wellness train, Aries, so you’d better get caught up on the latest Diet Starts Tomorrow podcast (shameless plug). As the balls-to-the-wall Leo Season energy starts to give way to significantly more …

Miley Is Shading TF Out Of Liam In Her New Song Betches

Every traumatic breakup deserves an equally traumatic breakup song, and Miley Cyrus really came through today. With no advance promo, she released a new track last night, and even a 5-year-old from outer space could tell you exactly what it’s about. We’ve spent all week trying to analyze posts and rumors for clues about the breakup, but Miley is giving it right to us. Let’s dive into the new song, and why it matters. The song is called “Slide Away,” which immediately conjures an image of two people falling out of love with each other, or what you tell creepy guys in your DMs. Miley and Liam have a long history together, so this really feels like the end of …

Well, That Was Stressful: ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ Finale Recap Betches

Alright everyone, here we are. The finale of season 3 of The Handmaid’s Tale. If you’ve been following these recaps, you know that I’ve found the quality of this season to be…mixed. The first half of the season seemed fairly aimless, and the whole show has suffered from the fact that the intense rules they set up for the world of season one just can’t hold three seasons in. For one, June should have been hanged like, 10 times by now. For another, you can’t make me like the Waterfords. You just can’t. You especially can’t make me give two f*cks about their romantic Canadian road trip one episode after they forced June and Commander Z to have sex in front …

Love Is In The Air: Weekly Horoscopes August 12-16 Betches

The Sun and Venus are hanging in the same House this week, meaning love is in the air for just about everyone. Whether you’re in a relationship, single, monogamous, monogamish, poly, or whatever the f*ck else guys say on dating apps to hide the fact that they’re cheating, this is your week to shine. Looks like it’s time for a late-in-the-game summer romance! Venus and the Sun are both chilling in your fifth house of love, meaning Cupid is literally obsessed with you right now. Single Aries should keep an eye out for a special someone to appear in your life this week (and maybe carry an extra outfit in your bag just in case). If you’re already in a …

You Just Have A Lot Of Feelings: Weekend Horoscopes Aug. 2-4 Betches

Well fam, it’s officially August, and, therefore, an appropriate time to begin buying fall clothes, planning Halloween costumes, preparing for Thanksgiving, going Christmas shopping, and making your New Year’s resolutions. While this year has kind of flown by, rest assured that your weekend won’t. We’ve got planets and stars doing all kinds of wacky sh*t, but it looks like, after some messy Friday and Saturday experiences, Sunday will be sloooow and chill for the majority of us. Let’s dive in, shall we? The weekend is set up for success, Leo. Friday will be a professionally satisfying work day, so going out to slam a few glasses of celebratory wine are def in order. Saturday and Sunday offer a taste of …

The Best Bachelorette Recap Youll Ever Read: Men Are Still Trash Betches

Sponsored by SkinnyPop Welcome to night two of my personal hell The Bachelorette season finale! Last night, Hannah’s final two men, Tyler and a guy who really should have just gone on The Voice, met her parents and had their last one-on-one dates before proposal day. I think the high points for me was watching Tyler restore health and vitality to Hannah’s mother with one flash of his dimples, and then, in contrast, watching Hannah become physically ill at the thought of her forever with Jed. The low point was having to listen to Jed defend his dog food jingle as a strategic career move that all the “real artists” have to do at least once before making it big. …

10 Extra AF Destination Wedding Resorts Betches

No one needs a vacation more than a bride-to-be planning a wedding, so if you want to get away, why not do it on your wedding day, by having a destination wedding? Yes, they can be expensive, but if you have the funds and are okay with having a smaller guest list, destination weddings can be great because they’re built-in vacations offering endless memories and photo ops. Whether you take to Europe, or simply switch states, traveling to tie the knot is both romantic and memorable. We’re sharing 10 of our favorite destination wedding resorts where you can wine, dine, relax, and get wifed up (literally). 1. Auberge du Soleil, Napa Source: PartySlate | Photography: Sylvie Gil Photography | Planner: …

The Type Of Guy Your Zodiac Sign Should Have A Summer Fling With Betches

Falling in love in the summertime is inevitable, betch. Whether you suddenly find yourself crushing on a sexy coworker at happy hour, or you decide to take off on a summer getaway where you can unapologetically pull a , rest assured, the heat is totally on. This, of course, could seem somewhat contradictory, from an astrological standpoint, considering the summer solstice is also the first day of Cancer season. (No offense, Cancer… but you know your astrological season tends to be a bit on the crybaby side…) But in the end, it’s those same overwhelming feels that flood our emotional psyche every year around the same time. Although, if you think Cancer season feels emotionally over-the-top, I suggest you mentally …

How To Break the F*ckboy Cycle For Good Betches

DON’T Just Take What You Can Get If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that at some point you’ve found yourself waiting to hear from a person you like for longer than is reasonable. Maybe, like my younger self, you’ve even gone so far as to delete his or her number from your phone and consider such person a lost cause. Of course, as soon as you proceed to get on with your life, the deadbeat in question miraculously resurfaces, whether it’s with a last-minute request for a date or a booty call well after you have made plans with friends (or, better yet, your couch). As much as you may want to respond and make yourself immediately available, …

The Best Bachelorette Recap Youll Ever Read: Entangled In Sin Betches

Peter The Pilot’s Hometown Date First up, we have Peter in California. Tbh I don’t think this date placement bodes well for him. I feel as if the person who goes first is usually not high on the lead’s list of priorities. Plus, he’s the only one to come from a state where you can’t buy a gun at the same place you can buy toilet paper, so that’s definitely some points against him. LOL. ABC, you can’t HONESTLY possibly expect us to believe that that’s Peter’s real car and not something production pulled out of their asses to give him some more sex appeal. There’s no way in hell a commercial airline pilot makes that much money. Please. Peter …

All The Terrifying Red Flags Luke P. Has Dropped This ‘Bachelorette’ Season Betches

Every year of The Bachelorette, I swear to myself that I won’t get as infuriated by next year’s villain. And every year, they trot out a new guy who seems specifically designed to raise my blood pressure. This year, I am of course talking about the villain Luke P.: CrossFit enthusiast and walking red flag. As exhausting as it is to see Hannah not send him home week after week, I’ve been really glad to see that most viewers have shied away from actively blaming her. As the other contestants point out, Luke shows a very different side to Hannah—and for f*ck’s sake, we’ve all fallen for a Luke at some point in our lives, and under far less stressful circumstances. …