1. When you’re alone together, you get the calmness and satisfaction of being alone, and the social fulfillment of being with friends. It satisfies both your introvert and extrovert needs. It’s really nice.
2. Home. It feels like home.
3. Peaceful. There’s always someone who has your back when you need it. If you want company, emotional support, laughs, etc they’re there. You know each others bodies well, fall into a groove, the sex is great. Being around people is exhausting and draining, but this person is exempt from that, somehow. They’re just safe, and warm, and comforting. Loneliness is rarely, if ever, felt.
4. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Who has taken the time to know you. Who you love beyond words but can also infuriate you very easily because they know how. It’s giving someone else the power to hurt you, to be capable to hurt you, because they know all these things about you. They know your mind – the things that make you happy, sad, angry, anxious, the things you’re interested in and the things you love and hate. They know your body – all the places to touch, kiss, that make you shiver and get you hot. The places you’re insecure about and the places that are sensitive. The parts you take care of and the parts you don’t. They know your heart – what really gets to you, that side of yourself you only show to them, they own this part whether they know it or not and whether you like it or not (If you’re truly in love with them) and if they are truly in love with you they’ll take care of it and guard it as much as you do. They know your soul – If they really are a soul mate. They’ll see parts of you you didn’t even know you showed them and those parts, to them, are what make you, you. They see the true parts, the real you.
And they’ll accept all of this, because they love you, and if it’s something they struggle to accept, but still love you anyway, they’ll probably help you grow.
5. It’s a constant rollercoaster of elation and wondering wtf you’re doing. Sometimes you are so deeply in love you couldn’t possibly imagine there are other people living with you on earth, you’ll stare at this person and feel your heart wrench in disbelief that they even exist. You’ll have someone that you want to share everything with, food wont taste as good without sharing it with them, and things will really feel complete.
Sometimes you’ll want to smother that motherfucker with a pillow because they’ve been an unreasonable asshole for a day or so. You’ll feel unappreciated, hurt, rejected, and even wonder why you’re continuing at times and you’ll fight with this person like you’ve never fought with anyone else.
If you’re really lucky you’ll love them so fiercely that these times wont completely disconnect you, and you’ll find ways to fight for their love and adoration. Don’t lose yourself in someone else, it’s easy to do and then resent them for it happening.
Most of all be as open and honest as you possibly can, be willing to forgive but not be run over, and when it gets tough think of what made you love them in the first place.
6. For me it is like being in a home with a lit fireplace – cozy, safe and warm. I didn’t have a lot of stability growing up, but from the moment I started dating my husband I finally felt secure. When I am at my very worst he is there supporting and encouraging me.
7. There are stages to it. It’s really exciting at first and you want to be with them all if the time. Then you’ll want time with your friends again and if they are cool they’ll be fine with that if not then it feels oppressive and you might start resenting them. It’s a lot like having a very good friend if you’re doing it right. If not then it’s like having a parent or a shitty friend that you can’t shake. You have to respect your life and time enough or you’ll just deal with crap that you know isn’t right. Once you’ve been together long enough it’s less exciting but much more comforting. It’s really up to you but it’s either the best thing or the worst. If you understand yourself enough you’ll be fine if not then someone else might start shaping you, your life and your future.
8. You can share things with them that you would usually tell no one and take to your grave and they don’t judge you and love you for who you are.
9. It’s challenging. It’s being a fallible, imperfect, wounded human being who is constantly changing, and sharing your life with another fallible, imperfect, wounded human being who is constantly changing. Nothing stays the same. Not the good things, not the bad things.
Being in a committed long term relationship is different from just having a SO. It’s both constant work (civility and respect as well as healthy boundaries) and easier work at times (it’s just fun!) The longer I know this man the more I truly like him, the more I love doing the most ordinary things with him and more I know I will be with him until death separates us EVEN THOUGH WE DRIVE EACH OTHER CRAZY SOMETIMES.
You go though phases – there are good times and hard times, especially when you’re together for a long time. People get sick. People you love die. Eventually you’ll die too. But I had never been in a relationship before this one where I knew so clearly that he was totally on my side — totally in my corner. As I am in his.
10. It’s like having another part of yourself. You’ll never get more comfortable with anyone else ever. It’s almost like having a twin, but with some “obvious differences.”
11. It’s great, scary, comforting, rewarding, difficult but overall one of the best things. It’s really nice to share your life with someone who is compatible in the important ways.
It’s not easy in some ways because you need to remember that another person is in your life so you’re not just thinking of your needs and wants and schedule. Not that you can’t do your own thing, just that you will have to consider them in making choices. Still very worth it.
12. It feels like you’re a team. You always have someone to turn to, to support you because you do the same for the other person. When you’re with the right one, you make each other better people by opening up your hearts and becoming a little more selfless.
13. A SO is similar to a dog. No one in the world will be as happy as when you come home, or you when you see each other out. They will feel entitled to your food, but that’s okay because you love them. They give you warm cuddles, but my god do they get toasty in the bed and it seems no matter how far away you try to get, they get close to cuddle you again. But a SO talks and laughs with you, and if you actively commit to open communication – then you never really have fights or blow out arguments.
14. Sometimes, love is like the feeling of coming back home and riding into a thunderstorm all at once.
Sometimes, it is about the thrill of knowing someone so deeply that few people can know them as well. The idea that you care about each other so much, that you are so important to each other that you are willing to work through the bad and the hard. Because it’s not always easy and rainbow farting unicorns, by you still do it because you know life is so much more richer for it.
Sometimes it gives you a feeling of belonging wherever you are. I guess because home is where the heart is and your heart has found a home.
Sometimes, loving feels like the metaphorical heart is like a muscle and you finally get to stretch it out.
15. It’s a little like asking “What’s reading a book like?” — it depends highly on the specific relationship.
Having a bad SO is terrible and will ruin your life, a constant negative voice telling you that you aren’t good enough while demanding all of your time and trying to make you feel guilty for having your own life, or ignoring you whenever you’re not directly serving them. It’s like never being able to get away and always walking on eggshells and feeling not good enough.
Having a good SO is like knowing that someone is on your team without having to worry/wonder about it, feeling secure that at least there’s one person who is always going to support you no matter what crappy day you had or tough stuff you’re dealing with, they will believe in you and encourage your aspirations, and that they will make your happiness one of their priorities.
16. It makes you feel like something other than a background character.
17. It’s really nice, but also can be complicated. It’s really easy to forget you are your own person, especially if you didn’t have much going on before the relationship. In that case, you start to sort of build up a life around them, with them at the core instead of them as an addition, and that’s bad because when they are away or if you break up, your life sort of crumbles with out its core.
18. It’s a buddy system. You try to be the best buddy possible, and hope that they do the same.
I find that people get so hung up on the romantic aspects of having an SO, which is important, but they forget that your SO has decided that you can be trusted to be their buddy and they want to do life with you. It’s a pretty awesome feeling once you put it into perspective that not only does that person make you happy and put you at ease, but you also do the same thing for them.
19. It’s like having a sleepover with your best friend every single night for years and years. Sometimes really fun, sometimes really annoying.
20. It’s wonderful, but stressful. It’s amazing, but disheartening. It’s so many things. It’s like having a best friend and a lover in one person. It’s overcoming arguments, and learning from mistakes. It’s learning the other person’s past, and wanting to be in their future.
21. Imagine having someone around who gets all of your jokes – most of them anyway. You both hear something that reminds you of that time you were both at that place and that thing happened so you just look at each other and laugh or smile because you know you’re thinking of that exact thing.
Everything in your life is made more special and more interesting because you can share it with that other person.
It’s more than having a best friend who you get to have sex with. It’s a bond on a physical, emotional and spiritual level with another person.
22. It feel like all the worst qualities of you are dimmed while all the best qualities of you shine bright.
23. My wife will back me up publicly, call me to be a better version of myself privately.
Behind every successful man is a woman who makes it necessary.
24. Having an SO is having someone you love respect you. They’re someone that you’re extremely comfortable with to the point that bringing up issues in the relationship isn’t something to be overly worried about, because you know they will listen and work through the matter with you. They’re someone that can comfort you on your worst days as much as they’re there for you on your best days. Someone that is supportive in your decisions and also someone who respects your space.
25. Why is everyone describing the perfect part of having a SO and creating false expectations? There’s also a ton of shitty parts, mostly when things start going bad. There’s a reason why people in relationships are not only not necessarily in perpetual ecstasy but are many times miserable.
A probable reduction of independence. The possibility that you have to text or see each other every day or it means your mad. Fighting. A need to commit and not be able to seek other partners. The fact that this means that you might have to put up with many things you don’t like or accept the fact that things you like can’t be done. The need to go to family functions of your SO and talk to the weird aunt which just spouts conservative nonsense. Probably give up part of your time you can dedicate to realizing your dreams. There’s many many negatives.
I’m sure people here will say but not if you’re with the SO that’s perfectly compatible with you! That doesn’t exist. No one’s perfect or perfectly compatible. There was once a woman I loved and would have married. Don’t think there aren’t annoying things about her that I wasn’t exactly fond of. At first they’re even endearing. But that sort of thing passes with time. Which is logical since relationships, even amazing ones are work. They have lots of rewards but there’s work every day to them. In the long term. Sacrifices. What happens when you’re SO is an artist who’s perfect academy is in Florence but you’re a writer and the community that loves your product is in Buenos Aires. Everyone will say oh you breakup and find someone else. But it’s not so bloody simple since you develop an addiction to the person and hell you even build your life around them. People will say oh but you should have your own life where the person is just a part of it. Or you should be independent and happy on your own. Bloody theoretical bullshit. In practice you two got a lease for an apartment for six months and now what? Oh you have a dog with your boyfriend? Guess it’s time for King Solomon to say how to split it. Not to mention if people only got SOs when they were in a perfect mental state and had resolved all their past trauma and difficulties than no one would have a SO since everyone has their shit.
So in summary it’s neither perfection or hell, it’s a bit of both from time to time. Depending on how good the relationship is, maybe more to one side than the other.
26. It’s different than I had imagined. It has its ups and downs like everything in life, but with a little bit of effort it’s an overwhelmingly positive experience. You have to be mindful and learn how to view things from someone else’s perspective. You also have to learn how to be brutally honest and how to communicate effectively. The hardest part for me was letting yourself be vulnerable around your SO. It’s one of the only ways to know who they really are.
27. Imagine having a best friend that is hot and willing to touch your junk.
28. They are your best friend who is willing to go through your best happiest moments and your worst shittiest moments also you feel love in every way from the bottom of your heart, in a way you feel like you need this person and they need you.
29. At first it’s awesome, everything is new and exciting. You’ll stay up late talking and getting to know each other on a deep level. You’ll explore each other’s bodies and figure out what each one likes and doesn’t like. The first year or 2 you’ll put on your best self and try to hide your insecurities. Eventually you’ll get comfortable enough to show them your not so great side and your flaws and you’ll see theres. Now you’re completely comfortable with them, you’ll fart in front of them and not be embarrassed, she’ll quit shaving her legs in the winter and not wear makeup when you come over. You’ll slowly quit doing the random sweet things for her because she’s already yours and you don’t have to impress her any more. She’ll quit making 3 course meals and start making boxed mac and cheese. Eventually you’ll get married and have kids. You’ll argue about who’s turn it is to wake up with the baby. You’ll diet together and try to lose the baby weight. You’ll quit going on dates because you’re too tired to go out even if you have the opportunity. Eventually you’ll realize you’ve been slacking and not treating you’re wife right and you’re setting a bad example for your son on how he should treat a woman. So you’ll start taking care of yourself more, eating right, working out, writing sweet notes in your wife’s lunch for her to find at work. You’ll get more energy and get the love you show your wife right back because she’ll realize she’s been slacking too. Your kids will think you’re gross when you kiss and show affection but they’ll understand it’s a good thing one day. All in all having a SO is awesome if you pick the right one. Sure theres ups and downs but just remember it’s not a competition, you don’t keep score. You do things for them because you love them and they’ll do the same. Having a SO is literally dedicating you’re life to your best friend and trying to make them as happy as they make you.
30. It’s like having a best friend but you can share everything with them.
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